Played a total of 5 games between today and yesterday for a women’s teams state soccer tournament, and my legs feel so dead and sore. I haven’t been this sore in a long time.

Notes to self…

1. “They say the first half-meter is in your head. What’s in yours?” – Nike commercial. I tend to psyche myself out a lot. I don’t have as much experience, coaching, and size as many girls, so going against them makes me feel inadequate, especially since back in the day, I wasn’t technically adept. It’s seriously all in my head though. Playing in this tournament made me realize that I play best when I am confident in myself. Sounds simple, but when I’m going against girls taller than me (most of them) or with fancy footwork (I’d rather not be on the receiving end of my own jar of tricks), adding the fatigue factor, I feel like I definitely shut myself down. I started getting more confident when I sensed any sort of hesitation or passiveness from the opposition though. That confidence carried from one game to another. I think this really just helped me win 50-50 balls or force turnovers. I think my technical side got weaker as I just plowed through the ball to win it in the midfield… A coach of mine always told me to just run through balls to win them. It doesn’t look pretty, and it’s not what I spent hours developing on good touch to do, but it’s effective. If people are taking their time trapping it, not trapping it perfectly shielded from me, or if they are waiting for the ball to settle or get to them, I can just sprint through the ball to win it with my body, or force my body between them and the ball. Since I usually play fairly chill pickup, I haven’t had to play this aggressively in a long time, and it feels good to be hustling and outmuscling again…

2. Since I don’t have as much coached experience, I feel like sometimes I don’t understand the game as well as I should. What runs to make, how to play a position effectively, what to do for set pieces, what to do on defense, etc… Actually, it’s not that I don’t understand, since I watch enough games to realize what should be done. It’s just difficult to get it done during an actual game. Conversely, since I’ve played so much pickup, I feel like I’m probably more aware of where passes should go than most people. It’s one of my favorite things to shred the defense with a well-placed pass. Picking out a player to pass to is the easy part. Delivery of the actual ball to the player or to their anticipated run is more difficult. Threading the ball through the defense and with correct pace so that the target player can take an easy touch onto it is the most difficult part. The more I play, the more I realize that a pass that does all the work for a player is so underrated in the game, and people tend to just like the parts of the game that they can see. There are so many fine nuances of playing a good pass that are often overlooked. I feel like my passing is probably the best part of my game, though in a game it’s often hectic and there’s pressure everywhere.

3. Defense isn’t as tough as I feel it is, though it’s my biggest test of focus. I’ve been stuck on this outside mid position for long (probably because nobody really wants to play it), that after I had a chance to play center mid, forward, or defense, it feels like drastically less sprinting. The biggest test is coming back on defense. In pickup, there’s less pressure to really come back on defense. In real games, it gets pretty intense. I feel like moving without the ball is the main source of exhaustion. Defense is mainly about focus though. Focusing on pushing through the fatigue, focusing on marking a player, focusing on anticipating the runs/delivery, and focusing on containment once your mark gets the ball. I think I’ve gotten the body positioning for containment down. Basically force them one way and don’t dive in…